I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
