that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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