coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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