Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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