There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
