I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
