apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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