lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
