That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
