i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
