***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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