just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
