So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
