I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
