Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
