She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
