im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
