i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
