he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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