i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
