turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
