i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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