you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
