It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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