There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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