Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
