I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
