I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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