whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize