i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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