"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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