I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize