My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
