She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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