I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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