Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
