so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
