Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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