if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
