he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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