first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
