Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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