the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
