Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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