Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
