I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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