i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
This is classic penis vs brain.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
