Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
