she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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