ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
